Eenie Meanie

Eenie Meanie, Shawn Simmons' first feature film after working on television projects such as The Continental and Wayne, is a strange creation: a film that desperately wants to be a stylish, fast-paced heist movie, but constantly gets tangled up in its own dramatic ambitions. At the heart of the story, Edith Edie Meaney, played with ferocity and vulnerability by Samara Weaving, has all the ingredients of a modern crime thriller: a reformed getaway driver dragged into chaos by her hapless ex-boyfriend John (played by Karl Glusman), an imminent threat from her former boss Nico (a tired but magnetic Andy Garcia), and a high-stakes casino heist that promises both adrenaline and catharsis. But instead of staying on the same wavelength, Shawn Simmons erratically shifts from zany comedy to heartfelt drama to grim violence, leaving the film stuck somewhere between Baby Driver and a dark relationship drama, without ever fully committing to either path.

This tonal inconsistency is the film's most persistent frustration. At one point, Shawn Simmons leans into Quentin Tarantino-esque profanity and absurd humor: Perm Walters, played by Marshawn Lynch, becomes the butt of Freddy Krueger jokes that seem straight out of a stoner comedy. The next moment, it shifts into dark family melodrama, showing Edith Meaney reconnecting with her father Frank Meaney, played by Steve Zahn, who now lives an idyllic suburban life after abandoning her to welfare. These quieter moments have potential, touching on themes of trauma and the possibility of change, but they're buried in a narrative that can't decide whether to laugh at the characters' misery or cry for them. As a result, moments that should carry emotional weight often clash with the cartoonish violence around them, making it difficult for viewers to fully invest in the story.

Yet despite the chaos, Samara Weaving delivers an impressive performance that confirms her as one of the most versatile actresses in the genre today. Known for bringing charisma to horror (Ready or Not, Azrael) and action (Mayhem), Samara Weaving proves once again that she can elevate a mediocre script to a higher level through sheer force of will. Her character, Edith Meaney, is resourceful, sarcastic, and haunted, a woman scarred by an abusive childhood and toxic relationships, but who still refuses to let others dictate her fate. Samara Weaving embodies with raw honesty Edith Meaney's conflict of loyalty towards John, a man who is more of a burden than a partner, more of a destroyer than a protector. Their chemistry is fragile, almost deliberately so, as Edith Meaney's affection is less about romance than a cycle of dependency she has not yet broken free from. However, it's behind the wheel that Samara Weaving truly shines: the chase sequences at the beginning and end of the film are charged with a kinetic energy that is sorely lacking in the rest of the film, reminding us that Shawn Simmons knows how to stage action when he allows himself to.

If Samara Weaving is the heart, Andy Garcia brings the gravitas. In the role of Nico, he does little more than glare and utter threats, but his mere presence lends the film a certain credibility. In one memorable sequence, Andy Garcia sizes up the young criminals around him with a single glance, reminding us that sometimes the most effective performances in the role of a gangster require neither shouting nor gesticulation, but rather restraint. Conversely, Karl Glusman is saddled with the role of John, a character so exasperating and incompetent that he strains the suspension of disbelief. John's immaturity is presented as both a comedic element and a tragic flaw, but the script never justifies why Edith Meaney, a woman clearly capable of independence, continues to cling to him. Even when the film pauses to let Edith Meaney explain her reasons, it feels like the script is filling in gaps rather than building a convincing romance.

The supporting cast offers flashes of energy that make it a shame Shawn Simmons didn't focus more on the overall dynamic. Jermaine Fowler, as the chaperone, brings a touch of wit and confidence, Randall Park steals the show in his brief role as Leo, the card counter, with perfect timing, and Marshawn Lynch, though underused as Perm Walters, brings an eccentricity that seems tailor-made for a cult character. These performances suggest a different version of Eenie Meanie, one more committed to a loud, character-driven heist comedy than a clumsy hybrid of tragedy and spectacle. When Shawn Simmons indulges in slick cinematography, practical stunts, and playful energy, the film comes to life. But too often, these moments are sandwiched between meandering exposition or melodrama that robs the film of its momentum.

Ultimately, Eenie Meanie is a film caught between its own ambitions. It wants to be realistic but also lighthearted, sincere but also irreverent, stylish but also down-to-earth. This tension could have worked in the hands of a more experienced filmmaker, but Shawn Simmons' lack of tonal discipline turns the film into a patchwork of promising ideas that rarely come together. Despite all its flaws, there's something undeniably captivating about seeing Samara Weaving dominate the screen with such conviction, embodying a role that could easily have been reduced to a cliché. The film may run out of steam in its execution, but thanks to her, it never gets completely bogged down. For viewers willing to forgive its inconsistencies, Eenie Meanie offers just enough thrills, just enough spectacle, and just enough emotion to justify the journey — even if one can't help but wonder how much better it could have been if it had simply chosen a path and stuck to it.

Eenie Meanie
Written and directed by Shawn Simmons
Produced by Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick
Starring Samara Weaving, Karl Glusman, Jermaine Fowler, Marshawn Lynch, Randall Park, Steve Zahn, Andy Garcia
Cinematography: Tim Ives
Edited by Chris Patterson
Music by Bobby Krlic
Production companies: 20th Century Studios, Reese/Wernick Productions
Distributed by Hulu (United States), Disney+ (France)
Release date: August 22, 2025 (United States, France)
Running time: 96 minutes

Seen on August 22, 2025 on Disney+

Mulder's Mark: