Here for Blood

Right from the film's opening sequence, Here for Blood announces what you're about to face: a gang of serial killers. Not just any gang: Satanists ready to unleash the forces of evil... Nothing could be simpler in their eyes... But, against all odds, for them to get what they want, you're going to have to face a babysitter. Yes, A BABYSITTER. And a professional wrestler, if you please! Still not convinced that a male babysitter just won't do? Then read on. 

Here for Blood, a gore parody, proves otherwise. Caught up in a whirlwind of murderous madness and repeated beatings, Tom (Shawn Roberts), the babysitter, puts on a show of muscular legwork. Not the kind you'd expect, but the kind that leave you on the edge of your seat, with severed heads and chiseled necks... Like a tiger ready to roar in defense of his one-night stand, Grace (Maya Misaljevic), there's no downtime. The time bomb is quickly ticking, and what starts out as a simple slasher movie turns into a horror film with a mix of demons and evil spells.

There's never a dull moment, with fights and laughs mixed in galore. The actors, all of whom are funny and unafraid of the ridiculous, win the gold medal for acting without overdoing it. Special mention must go to Maya Misaljevic, who, like Macaulay Culkin in "Mommy, I Missed the Plane", plays a courageous and strong-willed child against unscrupulous kidnappers (including her mother and stepfather, accomplices in this bloody night). As for the direction, it's limpid and marked by shots that foretell the danger to come (one example among many: just before the attack by her kidnappers, the camera films, from the railing of the stairs, little Grace as she enters her room. We soon realize that she's going to be the next victim, cloistered behind 'prison bars'). An eight-parter that quickly sets the tone that none of the protagonists entering the house will leave alive until the evil is vanquished.

Halfway between Shaun of the Dead and Evil Dead, the film's hero slices through the monsters who try to stand in his way to save his little protégée, with neither scruples nor remorse, all in a corrosively humorous tone. We're in for a real treat. If you've still got blood in your veins, be the next bait and switch over to this poignant film. You may lose your head, but at least you'll have seen it!

Here For Blood
Directed by Daniel Turres
Produced by Christian Turres, Daniel Turres, Jacob Windatt
Written by James Roberts            
With Shawn Roberts, Maya Misaljevic, Joelle Farrow, Tara Spencer-Nairn, Michael Therriault, Dee Snider
Music: Norman Orenstein
Director of photography: Renato Villas
Editing: Thomas Vickers
Running time: 120 minutes

Viewed August 13, 2023 

Sarah-The-Witch's Mark:

After making a name for itself as the closing film at the Toronto After Dark Film Festival, Here for Blood is set to be a hit at its European premiere at Frightfest.  The film may not get off to the perfect start, but it quickly evolves from what seems clumsy and cheap to a bloody, shocking adventure that navigates through various horror subgenres like a thrilling tour of a neighborhood haunted house.

At the heart of the film is Tom O'Bannon (Shawn Roberts), a struggling professional wrestler who barely earns twenty dollars a night in the ring. His girlfriend, Phoebe (Joelle Farrow), is also struggling financially, juggling three jobs and exam preparation. To support her, Tom reluctantly agrees to babysit young Grace (Maya Misaljevic) in Phoebe's lavish family home. Despite initial skepticism about his babysitting abilities, Tom proves surprisingly adept at establishing a bond with Grace, even going so far as to make her bedtime tea. Tom's strength and fighting skills come in handy when the house becomes the target of masked killers intent on kidnapping Grace. Although these attackers seem like typical horror movie villains, their motivations go far beyond a simple kidnapping. Fortunately for Grace, Tom's resilience keeps her out of harm's way.

The film's chaotic mix of elements should, in theory, create disaster, rather like mixing random ingredients in a cookie recipe. But Here for Blood transforms this cinematic concoction into a delicious fusion of zombies, cults and slasher killers, all layered onto a home-invasion canvas. The cobbled-together aesthetic of the low-budget production, combined with the contrived plot and dialogue, works wonders here to totally capture our attention.

If director Daniel Turres' connection to wrestling remains a bit of a mystery, the film itself clearly revels in the essence of the sport. Drawing inspiration from films like Mr. Nanny, in which Hulk Hogan plays a bodyguard and babysitter, the film takes the wrestling vibe to new levels. Notably, one of the main killers, Loverboy (played by Channing Decker), is played by a Toronto wrestler, lending a touch of authenticity to the film's action sequences. Roberts, although not a wrestler, trained with Canadian wrestler Tyson Dux, as evidenced by the fight scene that showcases his wrestling prowess. Despite this, the limited number of scenes featuring this captivating fighting style is a little disappointing. With the appearance of Loverboy, who looks like an '80s wrestling icon donning a horror mask, viewers might be in the mood for more suplexes and chair falls. However, the film takes a different path, opting for campy gore that pays homage to films like The Evil Dead. The exaggerated, blood-soaked scenes recall the style of Sam Raimi and are reinforced by an undead head screaming at the protagonist as he searches for tools in a shed.

Here for Blood boldly amalgamates various elements, creating an immensely entertaining mix of genres that draws inspiration from The Evil Dead, The Purge and They Live. While the film doesn't delve into the depths of toxic masculinity, it does explore machismo and vulnerability before embracing the notion of rock dudes. Fists become the unexpected weapon that saves the day. The film has the aesthetic of a made-for-TV romantic mystery, but beneath the surface lurks the work of film enthusiasts, resulting in a concoction that may not win awards, but will certainly win hearts. The film may be a silly horror comedy, but it's a thoroughly enjoyable one that appeals to the adrenaline junkie in all of us. We loved it, you be the judge when it's released...

Here For Blood
Directed by Daniel Turres
Produced by Christian Turres, Daniel Turres, Jacob Windatt
Written by James Roberts            
With Shawn Roberts, Maya Misaljevic, Joelle Farrow, Tara Spencer-Nairn, Michael Therriault, Dee Snider
Music: Norman Orenstein
Director of photography: Renato Villas
Editing: Thomas Vickers
Running time: 120 minutes

Viewed August 13, 2023 

Mulder's Mark: